My dear LinkedIn, I read so many rude things about your recent speed, new UI, missing functionalities, etc. and I had to tell you that people are really mean. I remembered how I felt in love with you when we met for the first time; yes, we had some disagreements for a number of years. Especially when I was trying to leave because you started acting that I need you most and that my life without you will be hard. But I forgive you and I worked hard to fix our relationship over the years.
But, lately, I started feeling that I am the only one involved in this relationship, and that it starts breaking apart when we stopped communicating due to your newly found boyfriend, that Microsoft guy. Nevertheless, I still love you because you taught me so much during the past years. But when you replaced my old interface with your new interface, I learned even more than before.
Below are the things I learned from you recently:
That I Am Not That Old
Every year, I told myself that, one day, I wouldn’t be that fast in sourcing and it will be harder for me to keep the pace with new methods. Other companies are trying to make sourcing faster with their fancy tools, but you realize that speed is not the only thing that people want! And thanks to your new interface, I am not feeling old and slow anymore!
You finally found the way to slow your site for me, and now I am feeling younger and faster than before. Sometimes, I even type the second search string before you load the page with the first one. Oh, my dear LinkedIn, I am feeling like the fastest sourcer alive, all thanks to you!
To Be More Patient
Thanks to your new interface, I become more patient. I am not talking about the speed of your site, but all these constant notifications that are popping up every single minute, when someone hits the like or comments on the post that I already commented. I know that you are trying to keep me busy and help me to develop new skills like Obsessive-compulsive disorder with all these notifications. And I promise that I will add this new skill into “Featured Skills & Endorsements” immediately after I saw the first signs of it.
One more benefit of this is that I start improving my developer’s skills so I can hide this warning without going insane one day. And you know that I like challenges, so that’s why you made it harder to block this time. So thanks for that!
Make Me Wonder
Your new interface makes me wonder; you created so many interesting things that keep my brain busy for hours. Like when you add into “Messaging” the possibility to show “Archived” messages when I am not able to archive any message at all. But I am pretty sure that is some kind of clever game, and if I solve this, there will be a price.
English is not my native language, so there are still a few rude words that I don’t know. But thanks to your new interface and every open individual on the Internet who commented on your new UI, I was able to learn more of these words.
Your new interface is helping me to be a better sourcer. I learned within the last two weeks more than the whole year before. I created new strings, found new backdoors, and learned about amazing things from the sourcing world. I also found a person who became my sourcing buddy.
You are still my number one inspiration, and a constant reminder that I need to learn more. And as you can see, I can even do it without your friend, Lynda.
That Being Jealous is Not Cool
When we met a few years ago, you told me that it is OK to meet other people. But you started acting weird when I began doing that. First, you start to limit the number of profiles I can see per day. After that, you told me that I could meet only 30K people. But in your new interface, I can’t see which people removed me from their network; it was working with the old interface, and now it’s gone. And it’s kind of weird asking someone to connect when they don’t want to be connected or removed me before. It’s like asking your ex for a date. So is this your way of telling me that I should stop meeting other people?
Taught Me Not to Listen
There is an old saying that customers are the king and that customers are always right. But thanks to your new interface, you taught me that every application or website that I create should be according to my plans and that I don’t have to care anymore about what my customers want or what they need. And you show me that it’s not important to listen to customers, I just need to give them something that is not easy to replace. Great lesson, thanks!
Learn to Forgive
And last but not least, you taught me to forgive. Thanks to your new interface, I understand that nobody is perfect and that we all have flaws. So I forgive you, despite the fact that you drive me crazy and make my life tough sometimes. However, I know that our relationship is full of love and hate.
There is one thing I need to tell you. I know that you’ve changed, so do I, and I met someone new. You know, you are not listening anymore, and Google was there and ready to listen. And one thing led to another, so don’t take it personally; it’s not you, it’s me. Well, in this case, it is probably your fault.
Thank you for all these valuable lessons, and I hope you are not mad at me because of all the things I said. I still like you a lot, and I hope we can still be friends after you reading this. But I had to be honest with you, and I know you deserve a second chance.
If you are not going to try harder this time, this is not going to work, and we need to talk.